Day 30 (30th May)

I give God all the glory for His goodness and mercy in my life. I woke up today with a long list of ‘to dos’. I wondered how come I’m back only a few days and already there is a lot of things to do. I have not updated my journal since Saturday day 28^th and I know this is not the best way to keep a journal. The best way is to write up your journal each day when the events and thoughts are still very fresh in your mind.

This made me realize the importance of diligence as a character trait. Diligence makes you focus and keep on what you have to do no matter what. I definitely need this in a big dose each day. Getting back to SA, has gotten me into a ‘must do this and must do that’ mode.

We had the second quarterly We CAN board meeting today and one of the members said something which I’ve been reflecting on. She mentioned the need to focus. This is definitely another character trait I need a good dose of. I have a purpose for taking this sabbatical and I have articulated (or have I?), actually just realized that I say it but I’ve never written down my sabbatical objective. How would I track progress against my goals? I’m diverting for a few minutes to do this right now.

I took the girls to school in the morning, a change from the past three weeks when they’ve been taking taxi to school. They are starting their exams today. Deborah was very quick to assure me they have been studying very hard. After the school drop, I had to and I mean had to go to the gym. You know as a registered member you are required to attend the gym at least 20 times in a 12 month cycle (is this a punishment or motivation?) and apparently I need to go at least 1 (one) time by the 31^st of May or I would be de-registered. So off I am to the gym. I decided I might as well do some treadmill and cardio whilst I’m here and not just swipe my card for recording purpose. I have to say every time, I manage to go to the gym, at the end of it I’m always very happy. Makes you wonder why it’s such a chore after a while to diligently go, after all it’s for one’s good. I think I’m trying to encourage myself here

I did some running around during the day and after picking up the girls after school we went to Menly Shopping mall to get my Sim card sorted. As we got back to the car, the security guard stopped us and pointed to the front left side of my car. It had been bumped by a lady who was reversing out of her parking space without taking cognizance of the parked cars behind her. Needless to say, I’ve just had additional work put on my plate. I thank God there was no loss of life.

I started another book called crazy love and it’s written by Francis Chan, the pastor of Cornerstone Church in California. I have not finished reading the Screw tape letters but I wanted something a bit lighter in addition. One thing I have realized is that it’s not just the knowledge you get from reading books, you also get affirmation of your own views sometimes. This book is centered on the passionate love of and for God. It got me to start thinking and reflecting on why do we love God. I have felt that I don’t love God enough, the way He should be loved when you think about what He has done for us and how much He loved us. I asked myself if I love Him because of what He can do for me or because of who He is? The response that came back from myself is that for me to answer this, I need to think about how I relate with Him (do I ask Him for things more than I worship Him in praises and exaltation?, communicate with Him as an afterthought), what sort of relationship I have with Him (do I long to just be in His presence? How much time do I devote to studying Him from His Word?), is every aspect of my life God centered? These are tough questions to ask. I don’t need a Preacher to tell me I have to do this, just need to ask and study myself to see if I do these. It’s easy to say, ‘I love you’ but actions confirms whether this is actually true. Do I love God enough as I should?

Got in touch with some of Oxfam staff today, more as a necessity because the cell phone sim decided it’s had enough and I need to do a sim swap. It was nice to reconnect but it made me feel that I haven’t really totally de-oxfamed. I should, really should. Eventually, I was able to get my cell phone back on track, thank goodness.

Father, I thank you for today, teach me to love You the way You expect us to. I thank You Jehovah for a day of abundant blessings.